Spirit Spit

I couldn’t contain my excitement. I was up at 5:30.The only pink shirt I own was about to be all up on this bod! I’m a themed dresser and I hate pink, but it was women’s conference day, day 2! Walking Confidently. I was fired up and in pink.

We were completely loved on and poured into the night before by the spirit. I imagined this was roughly 1/10th of the energy Peter felt as he huddled in a room with the other disciples and some believers as the Holy Spirit entered into them via God’s fire spit. God spirit spit melted into their skin, instantly penetrating their veins and filling their hearts. It was good. God spits fire, he really does. It’s in the word….you can’t deny it.

 They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues[a] as the Spirit enabled them. Acts 2:3-4

Now, I didn’t see any actual fire tongues, but I could feel my heart heat up and beat faster. It was totally a Book of Acts moment. It was good and I was ready for more.

My oldest had other plans. I woke him up Saturday with praises. He has many gifts and talents, but winning is NOT one of those! He makes running look hard. Like seriously, you see this kid run and you will never want to run again because it just looks like pain. He was at a birthday party the night before and played laser tag. He came in last place, but was so excited that when he reminisced the story, I had just assumed he did well. It wasn’t until the morning, when I found the score card that I realized he was in last place. My heart melted. God doesn’t make us winners baby, but he surely gave us the gift of good sportsmanship!

Then…

“Eli can you turn down the ipod (Chris Tomlin music of course) please, people are still sleeping…..Eli more please, I can still here it on the other side of the house.”

“Fine!” He screamed as he turned it off and slammed it on the table. This ipod is hanging onto life. It’s barely there….literally barely there, half of the screen is already chipped off and somehow it still works. Like, you can’t be slamming and dropping this thing. It probably works because Chris Tomlin possessed the dang thing to play just HIS MUSIC! AHHH, he haunts me!

Well this was, of course, not ok and resulted in the ipod being taken. Moans. Then,  there was no milk because I forgot to get some. Moans. So Starbucks brownie for breakfast day! Calories don’t count during Women’s Conference day so game on! Cheers! I ordered chocolate milk and not hot chocolate. Moan. The tears. The tears. I was just making Eli’s life hell apparently. I finally broke and yelled….hard. More tears…and Tomlin singing about waterfalls and streams of mercy. It was just too much. Just way to much water, AND IT WAS WOMENS CONFERENCE DAY!!! I should be the one with the waterworks on while having some spiritual, fire tongue, spirit spit, God revelation moment darn it! Oh the irony.

Against all odds, he somehow remained in my car and I threw my hands up and laughed, eventually. I said, “Boy! You can’t rain on my parade. If you don’t want to eat that’s cool. If you don’t want your chocolate milk that’s cool too! More sugar for me because today calories don’t count!” We marched into that conference messy. We still showed up and we showed up ugg–aaa–lleee. He looked like a meth addict all red faced, eyes swollen and 4 scabs on his face from who knows what, boyhood perhaps? We were a sight! The baby just woke up and was in pajamas still and me…well I was angry and exhausted, already. I ran to my friends and asked what was wrong with my child!? They laughed and said absolutely nothing.

I was reminded. God doesn’t call us to become perfect people. He doesn’t call perfect people. There aren’t even any of those! He calls the messy. He calls the meth addicts and the meth addict look a likes. He calls the moms who fall apart and yell. He draws close those who throw up their hands in defeat. He grabs those hands and pulls them out of the water and guides their feet to walk on it! We struggle so He can shine. If we didn’t have trouble, God couldn’t show up. There is no miracle to take place if nothing is in need of some miracle making. He doesn’t remove us from adversity. He shows up in it. So then when we move and live and love in those terrible, ugly life moments people see a God at work in us. We praise him in the rain and the waterfalls of tears and He shows up and wipes them away. He never promises us a life of ease, but He promises us comfort and peace. Jesus says:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” John 16:33

So take heart my friends. Seek his comfort and it will be given. Show up messy and he will love on you. I walked out of that conference with confidence in my chaos. I am a mess, a beautiful mess, and that is ok. In my imperfect reflection  I can see His perfection because He shines through my cracks and brings light to the world. I just have to sing His glory loud and proud, give credit to where it is due. It’s not me that does the good stuff, it is Him in me. I am the one who yells, He is the one who redeems it. He showed me comfort through love from His people, my friends, who laughed and said “girl me too, you are not alone!”  And that my friends, is a truth that I can walk confidently in.

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Chris Tomlin Needs a Chris Time-Out

wroshipI love my Eli. A tiny little seed was planted in his heart for worship music. Every Sunday he is front row at our church belting his lungs out for God. It’s precious. It’s his own little ministry. I have had strangers come up to me, once they have figured out that I am mom, and tell me how adorable and special he is. Yes he is special. I beam with pride. I MUST be parenting well! Totally all the glory to ME ME ME!!!

For his 8th birthday party we had a music party featuring Chris Tomlin. When he has friends over he forces them to rock out to Tomlin jams. He got the CD for Christmas and puts it on blast every day, every car ride, every spare moment. He wrote his biography paper for school on Mr. Tomlin. His teacher pulled me off to the side to tell me she is in the fan club elitoo. What a relief! Can I just say how cool it is to have his teacher, and one of the leaders in Boys and Girls Club come whisper in my ear that they too are Christians and love Eli’s fearlessness! Again, I MUST be parenting RIGHT!! (please note my sarcasm because I have no idea what I am doing, still, even after 8 years.) There was a talent show at his Boys and Girls Club in which he coaxed his best friend into performing a song he wrote, which was basically Tomlin songs all mixed together into one. So cute. They each had a guitar and Eli had the microphone. The pictures make them look like rock stars, the video…well we can just say if it was shown to Simon Cowell he would cut off his ears, Van Gogh style, and mail them to Chris Tomlin demanding a refund. It was so precious you guys, but so horrible.

Can I just tell you people how anti Chris Tomlin I have become!? Not because he is not great, not because I don’t like his music, because I do like him. I just can’t stand him anymore! We have tickets to see him and meet/greet with him in April. I am getting so burnt out I really don’t know how I will pull myself together, shake his hand and not break his wrist. Of course I won’t break his wrist. I am far too weak and he would still sing with a cast. It’s Chris Tomlin and he will never stop, at least not in this house!

Lesson I am trying to teach here is that Christian Music does not make you a better Christian. We Christians are all Christians, nobody is a better one. He doesn’t understand this yet. I pray that with time the truth will sink in and that occasionally I can again can turn up some Coldplay, Radiohead or Zeppelin without hearing groans sounding like they are being played from an amp that goes to 11…..until then,the songs of angel armies, and waterfalls and all other water references will remain stuck in my head. Tomlin go take a Tom-out!