Chris Tomlin Needs a Chris Time-Out

wroshipI love my Eli. A tiny little seed was planted in his heart for worship music. Every Sunday he is front row at our church belting his lungs out for God. It’s precious. It’s his own little ministry. I have had strangers come up to me, once they have figured out that I am mom, and tell me how adorable and special he is. Yes he is special. I beam with pride. I MUST be parenting well! Totally all the glory to ME ME ME!!!

For his 8th birthday party we had a music party featuring Chris Tomlin. When he has friends over he forces them to rock out to Tomlin jams. He got the CD for Christmas and puts it on blast every day, every car ride, every spare moment. He wrote his biography paper for school on Mr. Tomlin. His teacher pulled me off to the side to tell me she is in the fan club elitoo. What a relief! Can I just say how cool it is to have his teacher, and one of the leaders in Boys and Girls Club come whisper in my ear that they too are Christians and love Eli’s fearlessness! Again, I MUST be parenting RIGHT!! (please note my sarcasm because I have no idea what I am doing, still, even after 8 years.) There was a talent show at his Boys and Girls Club in which he coaxed his best friend into performing a song he wrote, which was basically Tomlin songs all mixed together into one. So cute. They each had a guitar and Eli had the microphone. The pictures make them look like rock stars, the video…well we can just say if it was shown to Simon Cowell he would cut off his ears, Van Gogh style, and mail them to Chris Tomlin demanding a refund. It was so precious you guys, but so horrible.

Can I just tell you people how anti Chris Tomlin I have become!? Not because he is not great, not because I don’t like his music, because I do like him. I just can’t stand him anymore! We have tickets to see him and meet/greet with him in April. I am getting so burnt out I really don’t know how I will pull myself together, shake his hand and not break his wrist. Of course I won’t break his wrist. I am far too weak and he would still sing with a cast. It’s Chris Tomlin and he will never stop, at least not in this house!

Lesson I am trying to teach here is that Christian Music does not make you a better Christian. We Christians are all Christians, nobody is a better one. He doesn’t understand this yet. I pray that with time the truth will sink in and that occasionally I can again can turn up some Coldplay, Radiohead or Zeppelin without hearing groans sounding like they are being played from an amp that goes to 11…..until then,the songs of angel armies, and waterfalls and all other water references will remain stuck in my head. Tomlin go take a Tom-out!

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